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The Pies Of Life

By Judy

I have worked with the Caretaker Personality and burnout in Minnesota for many years and have developed a robust illustration that helps clients understand a number of things.  My illustration also applies to other issues such as teenage rebellion in adults who never rebelled as teenagers, as well as adults who have lost themselves and are questioning who they are and who they want to be in life.

I call my illustration The Pies of Life.  Very briefly, what clients will learn are four basic things.

  1.  The symptoms of burnout
  2.   How they have participated in getting burned out
  3.   How they would like their life to feel and be (their goal)
  4.   What they will need to do in order to achieve their goal

The Pies of Life, when done in my office, provides a visual structure for understanding how our past, present and future are connected and where our power lies to effect change.

The Past

We are all limited by our past.  The rules of thumb we learned about life were learned by the ages of 5 – 7 years of age.  It is in those early years we create a life map and we carry that life map with us into adulthood.  Eventually our life map becomes outdated just like the old paper maps we used to use to plan the route for a trip.   The time comes when all of us need a new life map with new roads and new scenery.  So, while our childhood life map serves us well for a long time, eventually it becomes outdated and we wonder why we end up in the same place time after time after time.

The Future

When we think about the future, and what we want our life to feel like, most of us want to feel that our life is more in our control, that we have better boundaries, harmony, peace, calm, passion, meaningful, fulfilling relationships, joy,  and that we are living a respectful life of our choice without apology or guilt.

The Present

There is work to be done if we are to achieve this goal.  It is in the present that we have the power to change our future.  We cannot ignore the past nor can we be run by it.  We must understand it.  Remember, if our childhood life map is no longer working for us we need to create a new life map for the life we currently have.

It is in the present that we must take the time to invest in ourselves.  We need to put our own name on the list of people and things we care about, learn new behaviors and find the courage to act in new and different ways.

As we create a new life map, we will be training ourselves to act differently and we will also be training others how to treat us.

After all, none of us would be a doormat if we didn’t lie down.  Funny thing is, without this realization, we just wonder why we have tread marks on our body.  For many people the thought of “standing up” and not “lying down” is frightening and requires great courage.

In Conclusion

Going through The Pies of Life is work, but it is some of the most exciting work a client can do.  I tell my clients if they do this work, people will wonder what happened to them, where did they get it and can they get it too.

When we are most fully “us,” and the best we can be, the truth is, we are irresistible!

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